Yep, just what you all need to hear about another of my crying episodes...but once I get it written it doesn't bother me as much anymore. It not that I am an unhappy person but man can I now hit some lows. However, I will say that our time on the ocean is always the most peaceful times I have now. Hearing the waves hit the beach is like listening to Natalia's laugh. There is nothing better then all four of us together.
Edgar left home last Monday for a gang conference in gorgeous San Diego...at a hotel right on Mission Bay...across the street from Mission Beach. So we decided that Sophia & I would join him for the weekend and have a major relaxing time. Nothing but chilling and the bay, beach and pool. Yep, no Seaworld, no world famous zoo, just sun, surf and relaxation.
Let me first say that if we do something like this again, it will be before his conference begins. Edgar does not like to be away from home for long. He was tired and had a major case of "I just want to go home" by the time we arrived Friday afternoon. That is not to say we didn't have a good time. We played in the Bay Friday afternoon and went to a Luau that night. What a blast! Sophia had so much fun and even got up on the stage with the dancers for a kiddie hula. We spent Saturday playing with Natalia in the ocean. Sunday morning was pool time and the afternoon walking on the beach with Natalia. Sophia wrote messages to her sissy in the sand for the tide to carry out to Natalia. The weekend had some beautiful times.
Now for the not so great moments. Some of you may know, Edgar and I decided to try for another baby at the end of June. We expected it to take many months so when I turned up pregnant by the end of July we were ecstatic! We didn't tell very many people because we wanted the first "major" OB appointment before yelling the news to the world. That appointment was last Tuesday and the news was not good. The yolk was way too big for the baby to survive the first trimester. That didn't mean we gave up hope but talk about a frying pan upside the head. I started bleeding on Friday afternoon and by Saturday morning I couldn't feel that little life force anymore. I think they wanted to join their sister by the sea. They showed us just how much we do want another child and we will try again once my body is ready...40 year old body that it is.
Less distressing but more frustrating because of the first...I lost my bestest most fav sunglasses Friday night. It was just one more thing and I think that's why I took it harder and out of proportion. But it was like "you have to be kidding me".
Sunday before sunrise...Edgar retrieves a message from his phone. Redd is running the neighborhood. They can't catch him! I call my dad at 6:30am to check the house and see if he can get Redd to jump in the car with him. Redd loves to go for a ride. Guess what, Redd is in the backyard...the neighbors caught him and fixed the fence...but Coco was not there. She had knocked and slat loose and escaped. Dad searched the area with no luck. He went back to search and talk to everyone after Mom got back from church...No Coco. Edgar and I facebooked asking if anyone had seen her. We were heartbroken! We had just lost a baby now Coco was gone, oh yeah, doom and gloom time as we sat at San Diego airport and there was nothing we could do. My Mom called at 3pm...Coco was found...at the Petsmart on Willow/Herndon. She was wandering the parking lot up there and some kind soul brought her over to the people that adopt pets out in front on the weekends. P.A.W.S. Precious Animals Worth Saving...no kill shelter. They took her inside and bathed her, deflead her and had her microchip read. When they couldn't reach anyone at our house they called my parents. Thank God! It was like having a fifty pound weight taken off out chests. Now we just needed to get home and hug the dogs. Needless to say, today Edgar is going to be re enforcing the fence.
Much love to you all,
Roni
Monday, September 6, 2010
Sunday, August 1, 2010
Life...or something like it
Wow, 2 months since I last wrote. It has been an emotional couple of months. Not in a bad way but in a healing way. I came to the realization that while I am not fully prepared for some of the things life throws at me there are others that I am truly ready for. I have gotten to the place where I can forgive myself for not being emotionally ready to "deal" with some of the things I have tried to accomplish. Of course, that doesn't mean I won't keep trying, I just won't be as hard on myself for breaking down...I'll eventually get there and when I do it will be right for me. Vague thoughts,I know, but sometimes it's hard to swim through the grief.
I went to Las Vegas for a girls weekend at the end of June. It was great to just take myself out of my comfort zone. Though it was hard not talking to Edgar for 3 days. I was not supposed to call or text them other then to let him know that I arrived in Las Vegas then returned to Fresno safely. Sophia kinda of blew that theory. Yup, she knows my cell number and the "Mama, when are you coming home" phone calls started Saturday morning. The time away allowed me to calm my thoughts and find my balance again. I came to some important decisions and they helped to bring some more peace to my life.
I also had another momentous marking during the last 2 months...I turned 40! I don't know where the time has gone. There are some days when I still feel young and vibrant while others feel like I am older then dirt and life is draining away...most days I am happily in between with so much to learn and accomplish that a lifetime is not enough.
Need to sign off before I'm done writing...Pia requires my attention.
Much Love,
Roni
I went to Las Vegas for a girls weekend at the end of June. It was great to just take myself out of my comfort zone. Though it was hard not talking to Edgar for 3 days. I was not supposed to call or text them other then to let him know that I arrived in Las Vegas then returned to Fresno safely. Sophia kinda of blew that theory. Yup, she knows my cell number and the "Mama, when are you coming home" phone calls started Saturday morning. The time away allowed me to calm my thoughts and find my balance again. I came to some important decisions and they helped to bring some more peace to my life.
I also had another momentous marking during the last 2 months...I turned 40! I don't know where the time has gone. There are some days when I still feel young and vibrant while others feel like I am older then dirt and life is draining away...most days I am happily in between with so much to learn and accomplish that a lifetime is not enough.
Need to sign off before I'm done writing...Pia requires my attention.
Much Love,
Roni
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Just Keep Swimming
What is the fine line between depression and grief? Is there one? Do you just crumble on the couch and not want to take part in world from laziness or are you so detached because nothing soothes that part of you that is missing? You go for so long with only a few hours of sleep at night because your mind can’t turn off the dreams. You smile and laugh with the people around you but don’t feel the emotions that go with it. No one truly understands the loss you are feeling and you can barely verbalize it. When you try to speak the words you are over come by emotions and just end up crying. The crying turns to anger because you can’t say what you need to get out. The anger turns to frustration because there is no where to release it (how do you physically attack the disease that took Natalia). The frustration grows until you just want to hit out at anyone or anything but keep pulling it back inside because you don’t want to hurt anyone else…pulling you further away from the world of the normal. These feeling may last a few minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or even years. Simply put, you feel lost.
What a way to start to the blog…I recently found, or should I say came back to, the world of online grief support groups. I discovered…that my grief is “sane”. Wow, sanity, what an amazing concept. I just thought I was beginning to lose what is left of my mind…coming up on the big 40 is causing parts of my mind to go. LOL!!! Back to online grief support, I recently found Compassionate Friends on Facebook. The last experience I had with a grief support group put me off…too much pain and anger in one place for me to handle well. While elements of that do exist at CF, how can it not when you lose a loved one, the majority of people are just like our family. They have learned the miracle of the moment. The pain exists but they are not willing to let it overshadow joy that our loved one brought into our lives. It feels good to throw out emotional moments and have feed back from someone else that “gets it”(getting mail for Natalia is one instance. Yep, stuff will still come.).
I fall into the minutes and days category. I feel the waves of grief everyday but only allow them to overcome me for a few “minutes” a day. The “days” part is when I get knocked sideways by a wave and just can’t seem to recover for a few days. I don’t think of grief as a rollercoaster or a crazy train like other people have described. For me grief is like the ocean and I have gotten to be a pretty good swimmer. There are beautiful, peaceful coves that can hide dangerous riptides. This is when everything is going really good and I begin to think that I’m stronger and ready to face anything only to get hit in the face by opening an envelope containing Natalia’s death certificate. There are untold dark depths that hide amazing underwater life. This is when I am ready to give up swimming and sink beneath the surface then Sophia will sing and dance her way through one of her amazing “I love you Mama!” creations. I have learned that some days are easier then others. When the grief overwhelms me, I look around and see the true magnificence and beauty that the world has to offer and I know Talia is looking down on us and saying “it’s all going to be ok.” In Dory’s immortal words “Just Keep Swimming, just keepswimming!”
A lot of overwhelming feelings have popped up over the past two months. Sophia is starting to have so many “1st’s” that Natalia never got to experience. So I get double smacked with them. Here’s the one example that had me balling up a storm in the car…watching Sophia walk away from me to school all by herself. She decided she was old enough and did not need me to walk her to her classroom door. Twofold…my BABY was growing up, getting more independent and ready for more responsibility (enough to drive any parent to tears)…Natalia got sick just before she hit this stage…in fact she got sick almost exactly 2 years to the date when Sophia decided to declare her independence. Oh yeah, cryfest! Just driving by Weldon the last couple of months has been enough to send me into tears. It’s that time of year, the time when Natalia was first diagnosed with the brain tumor, so the memories are coming fast and furious. She was so happy in kindergarten and every time I drive by I see her laughing and playing tag on the playground. They are happy memories but they make me miss her all the more. These memories hit last year, as well, but I was so numb from just losing her that they didn’t send me into a tailspin. They were more of a comfort last year. I know they will be comfort again but Sophia’s jumps into independence give grief that small opening it needs to overwhelm.
I am probably not making sense to you. There are times when I don’t even make sense to myself. But I just needed to write it down and get the feelings out. Then, hopefully, they won’t affect me so much.
Much Love,
Roni
What a way to start to the blog…I recently found, or should I say came back to, the world of online grief support groups. I discovered…that my grief is “sane”. Wow, sanity, what an amazing concept. I just thought I was beginning to lose what is left of my mind…coming up on the big 40 is causing parts of my mind to go. LOL!!! Back to online grief support, I recently found Compassionate Friends on Facebook. The last experience I had with a grief support group put me off…too much pain and anger in one place for me to handle well. While elements of that do exist at CF, how can it not when you lose a loved one, the majority of people are just like our family. They have learned the miracle of the moment. The pain exists but they are not willing to let it overshadow joy that our loved one brought into our lives. It feels good to throw out emotional moments and have feed back from someone else that “gets it”(getting mail for Natalia is one instance. Yep, stuff will still come.).
I fall into the minutes and days category. I feel the waves of grief everyday but only allow them to overcome me for a few “minutes” a day. The “days” part is when I get knocked sideways by a wave and just can’t seem to recover for a few days. I don’t think of grief as a rollercoaster or a crazy train like other people have described. For me grief is like the ocean and I have gotten to be a pretty good swimmer. There are beautiful, peaceful coves that can hide dangerous riptides. This is when everything is going really good and I begin to think that I’m stronger and ready to face anything only to get hit in the face by opening an envelope containing Natalia’s death certificate. There are untold dark depths that hide amazing underwater life. This is when I am ready to give up swimming and sink beneath the surface then Sophia will sing and dance her way through one of her amazing “I love you Mama!” creations. I have learned that some days are easier then others. When the grief overwhelms me, I look around and see the true magnificence and beauty that the world has to offer and I know Talia is looking down on us and saying “it’s all going to be ok.” In Dory’s immortal words “Just Keep Swimming, just keepswimming!”
A lot of overwhelming feelings have popped up over the past two months. Sophia is starting to have so many “1st’s” that Natalia never got to experience. So I get double smacked with them. Here’s the one example that had me balling up a storm in the car…watching Sophia walk away from me to school all by herself. She decided she was old enough and did not need me to walk her to her classroom door. Twofold…my BABY was growing up, getting more independent and ready for more responsibility (enough to drive any parent to tears)…Natalia got sick just before she hit this stage…in fact she got sick almost exactly 2 years to the date when Sophia decided to declare her independence. Oh yeah, cryfest! Just driving by Weldon the last couple of months has been enough to send me into tears. It’s that time of year, the time when Natalia was first diagnosed with the brain tumor, so the memories are coming fast and furious. She was so happy in kindergarten and every time I drive by I see her laughing and playing tag on the playground. They are happy memories but they make me miss her all the more. These memories hit last year, as well, but I was so numb from just losing her that they didn’t send me into a tailspin. They were more of a comfort last year. I know they will be comfort again but Sophia’s jumps into independence give grief that small opening it needs to overwhelm.
I am probably not making sense to you. There are times when I don’t even make sense to myself. But I just needed to write it down and get the feelings out. Then, hopefully, they won’t affect me so much.
Much Love,
Roni
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
The Good, The Bad and The Somewhat Ugly
The past few weeks have been extremely busy, emotional, inspiring and just plain fun. It’s hard to try to express yourself in writing when your emotions just seem to overflow everything you try to put on the page. I have been thinking and thinking about how I want to say things…then end up so busy that I don’t have time to write. I also have not been in the mood to cry while I write. Normally, this would be my outlet and allow me to feel better after getting it on the page but I have spent most nights lately having dreams that leave me emotionally wrung out.
Wish Riders…what an amazing experience. We gained new friends and family while Edgar was involved in the filming of the pilot episode. To be around people who fully understand the power of wish was incredible. These people understood the difference between seeing the support of people around you and feeling, being surrounded, in the support. That feeling of support is, what I believe, inspires wish recipients to give back to their communities and Make-A-Wish. That feeling of support helps pull you through life’s darker moments. It can help bring you back from the edge, when all seems lost. All of us came from different back rounds and our experiences with illness where different but the commitment to help others have those same moments of peace, hope and joy that our families experienced during their wish was incredibly strong. While we may not be able to cure the disease, we can help ease the heart. I know that ease of feeling from all of you is what helped our family get through the dark times. It still does! Please, please, please check out the web site for Wish Riders (www.wishriders.org) and “like” them on Facebook. The bigger the grass roots fan base the show has the better chance it will have to make it on the air waves…the bigger chance to help even more kids receive the healing power of a wish. Here is a fact for you that most people don’t realize…80% of “wish kids” survive. The hope and strength a wish inspires in them is something they will pass on for the rest of their lives.
Sophia went to Camp Hope this past weekend. How much fun and how busy she stayed was evident in the fact she slept almost all the way home from Livermore. She was surrounded by kids and counselors who had all experienced loss. An environment where she could let it all out and everyone would be on the same wave length. We were told (something everyone knows about her) that she is much older emotionally then any 6 year old should be. I was told to fire her occasionally (she likes to be a therapist and tried to counsel the other kids in her cabin) and remind her it’s ok to be a kid. She said her favorite thing that she did at camp was to “trash the boys’ cabin.” I guess this went back and forth all weekend. The therapist from her cabin said she had an emotional breakthrough on Saturday night at the candlelight vigil where each child lit a candle and spoke about their loved one who passed away. She hasn’t really wanted to talk about it yet and I am not pushing her. I pull one of her crafts that she made from her bag and ask about why they made it but she just shrugs it off. I will wait until she wants to talk and try to keep my ears & eyes open for signs.
The dreams are amazing in some ways but…no other way to put it…totally suck in others. For the most part I love to dream about Natalia. Most of the dreams are good loving dreams. I get to see her face and hear her voice again. I just don’t want to let her go when the dream is over so I end up waking up in the middle of the night crying. I can’t get back to sleep because every time I close my eyes I see her face and the grief just overwhelms me so I end up staying awake…good plan until you have to get up and face the world the next morning. The other dreams though…they pick out every piece of guilt and hurt that my subconscious mind can dig up. Things pop up into them that if I was awake I would never think of. The main theme is the guilt over not seeing signs of the brain tumor. I hear her voice insisting that we had to go to Monterey immediately, before we knew about the tumor. I see all the little markers of brain tumor that could have just been her allergies and the new medicine she was taking causing. The dreams come in many forms and many different things take place in them. Some dreams are replays of actual events while others show things that never happened. But they all play on my fragile human emotions and are hard to overcome. So I have been a bit sleep deprived lately. I was ready to hit the wall.
Edgar and I tend to hit the wall at the same time…crash and explode over the smallest matter…then talk about what is really bothering us. The problem for us both is that we don’t realize how much we are holding in trying not to cause each other pain. The main point…we do talk about it…the pain, the guilt, the loneliness of feeling Natalia close but not being able to hold her. I think this is where some families break. They don’t talk about what is bothering them. The emotions get so out of control that it is hard not feel unjustified resentment and when the explosion hits they just walk away. Because these emotions are incredibly strong and make you hit out without thought of the other person’s feelings. I hope we are teaching Pia to talk about the feelings when they are getting to be too much to control. I now have another way to ease the emotions…my early Mother’s Day present…my helmet, leather jacket and boots. I am now a biker babe! The feeling you get from riding is amazing. It helps to clear away the cobwebs of your mind and lets you breath deep. No wonder Edgar likes it so much.
Well, I think I got through just about everything I wanted to talk about…and all without crying.
Much Love,
Roni
Wish Riders…what an amazing experience. We gained new friends and family while Edgar was involved in the filming of the pilot episode. To be around people who fully understand the power of wish was incredible. These people understood the difference between seeing the support of people around you and feeling, being surrounded, in the support. That feeling of support is, what I believe, inspires wish recipients to give back to their communities and Make-A-Wish. That feeling of support helps pull you through life’s darker moments. It can help bring you back from the edge, when all seems lost. All of us came from different back rounds and our experiences with illness where different but the commitment to help others have those same moments of peace, hope and joy that our families experienced during their wish was incredibly strong. While we may not be able to cure the disease, we can help ease the heart. I know that ease of feeling from all of you is what helped our family get through the dark times. It still does! Please, please, please check out the web site for Wish Riders (www.wishriders.org) and “like” them on Facebook. The bigger the grass roots fan base the show has the better chance it will have to make it on the air waves…the bigger chance to help even more kids receive the healing power of a wish. Here is a fact for you that most people don’t realize…80% of “wish kids” survive. The hope and strength a wish inspires in them is something they will pass on for the rest of their lives.
Sophia went to Camp Hope this past weekend. How much fun and how busy she stayed was evident in the fact she slept almost all the way home from Livermore. She was surrounded by kids and counselors who had all experienced loss. An environment where she could let it all out and everyone would be on the same wave length. We were told (something everyone knows about her) that she is much older emotionally then any 6 year old should be. I was told to fire her occasionally (she likes to be a therapist and tried to counsel the other kids in her cabin) and remind her it’s ok to be a kid. She said her favorite thing that she did at camp was to “trash the boys’ cabin.” I guess this went back and forth all weekend. The therapist from her cabin said she had an emotional breakthrough on Saturday night at the candlelight vigil where each child lit a candle and spoke about their loved one who passed away. She hasn’t really wanted to talk about it yet and I am not pushing her. I pull one of her crafts that she made from her bag and ask about why they made it but she just shrugs it off. I will wait until she wants to talk and try to keep my ears & eyes open for signs.
The dreams are amazing in some ways but…no other way to put it…totally suck in others. For the most part I love to dream about Natalia. Most of the dreams are good loving dreams. I get to see her face and hear her voice again. I just don’t want to let her go when the dream is over so I end up waking up in the middle of the night crying. I can’t get back to sleep because every time I close my eyes I see her face and the grief just overwhelms me so I end up staying awake…good plan until you have to get up and face the world the next morning. The other dreams though…they pick out every piece of guilt and hurt that my subconscious mind can dig up. Things pop up into them that if I was awake I would never think of. The main theme is the guilt over not seeing signs of the brain tumor. I hear her voice insisting that we had to go to Monterey immediately, before we knew about the tumor. I see all the little markers of brain tumor that could have just been her allergies and the new medicine she was taking causing. The dreams come in many forms and many different things take place in them. Some dreams are replays of actual events while others show things that never happened. But they all play on my fragile human emotions and are hard to overcome. So I have been a bit sleep deprived lately. I was ready to hit the wall.
Edgar and I tend to hit the wall at the same time…crash and explode over the smallest matter…then talk about what is really bothering us. The problem for us both is that we don’t realize how much we are holding in trying not to cause each other pain. The main point…we do talk about it…the pain, the guilt, the loneliness of feeling Natalia close but not being able to hold her. I think this is where some families break. They don’t talk about what is bothering them. The emotions get so out of control that it is hard not feel unjustified resentment and when the explosion hits they just walk away. Because these emotions are incredibly strong and make you hit out without thought of the other person’s feelings. I hope we are teaching Pia to talk about the feelings when they are getting to be too much to control. I now have another way to ease the emotions…my early Mother’s Day present…my helmet, leather jacket and boots. I am now a biker babe! The feeling you get from riding is amazing. It helps to clear away the cobwebs of your mind and lets you breath deep. No wonder Edgar likes it so much.
Well, I think I got through just about everything I wanted to talk about…and all without crying.
Much Love,
Roni
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
National Brain Tumor Awareness Month
May is Brain Tumor Awareness Month. Break out those gray ribbons! Some of the Facts:
• Each year approximately 187,000 adults and 2,900 children are diagnosed with a brain tumor.
• Brain tumors are the leading cause of cancer death in children under age 20 now surpassing acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL), and are the third leading cause of cancer death in young adults ages 20-39.
• Brain tumors are the second fastest growing cause of cancer death among those over age 65.
• Brain tumors are the second leading cause of cancer-related deaths in males ages 20-39.
• Brain tumors are the fifth leading cause of cancer-related deaths in women ages 20-39.
• There are over 120 different types of brain tumors, making effective treatment very complicated. Worse, children's brains react so differently than adults that the same treatment is ineffective.
• At present, brain tumors are treated by surgery, radiation therapy and chemotherapy, used individually or in combination.
• Symptoms of a brain tumor can include headaches, seizures, cognitive or personality changes, eye weakness, nausea or vomiting, speech disturbances, or memory loss.
• The cure rate for most brain tumors is significantly lower than that for most other types of cancer.
• Brain tumor research is underfunded and the public, in general, is unaware of the magnitude of the problem.
• Currently, brain tumors cannot be prevented because their cause is still unknown.
• Each year approximately 187,000 adults and 2,900 children are diagnosed with a brain tumor.
• Brain tumors are the leading cause of cancer death in children under age 20 now surpassing acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL), and are the third leading cause of cancer death in young adults ages 20-39.
• Brain tumors are the second fastest growing cause of cancer death among those over age 65.
• Brain tumors are the second leading cause of cancer-related deaths in males ages 20-39.
• Brain tumors are the fifth leading cause of cancer-related deaths in women ages 20-39.
• There are over 120 different types of brain tumors, making effective treatment very complicated. Worse, children's brains react so differently than adults that the same treatment is ineffective.
• At present, brain tumors are treated by surgery, radiation therapy and chemotherapy, used individually or in combination.
• Symptoms of a brain tumor can include headaches, seizures, cognitive or personality changes, eye weakness, nausea or vomiting, speech disturbances, or memory loss.
• The cure rate for most brain tumors is significantly lower than that for most other types of cancer.
• Brain tumor research is underfunded and the public, in general, is unaware of the magnitude of the problem.
• Currently, brain tumors cannot be prevented because their cause is still unknown.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Wish Riders
First off, let me say a huge THANK YOU to the Wish Riders and ABC for allowing our family to be part of this project. This weekend was an amazing experience for us all. I just want to get this posted without crying my way through it so for now the highlights. I will go into more details soon.
We met Edgar's brothers of another mother this weekend and it was a truly amazing experience for them all. Joey, survivor of childhood leukemia and Wish Kid. Paul, father to Maddie who passed away from bone cancer. I will go more into their stories later...part of the crying experience.
We arrived in Phoenix on Friday at 1130am. When we arrived at the hotel we had an invitation to a welcome reception at 6pm so since we had time we headed off to the Arizona Bike Week site and met up with the Central Valley Make A Wish crew...Tony, Lori, Shelly and Diana. Miss Sophia got her cute on and once we convinced her to talk louder she sold 5 raffle tickets. I was so proud of her!!! She has to get past that 5 minutes of shyness with anyone new and to have to approach a whole bunch of new people...go Pia. I must say that she melted several hearts even if she didn't sell them a ticket. Pia would jump in front of people and Shelly would reel them in. We took off at about 5pm...at that time there were close to 1000 bikes in the parking lot with more arriving every moment.
The reception was a get to know you session and a briefing of what generally was going to happen for filming over the weekend. It was a crying and bonding session. Sophia met Alyssa, Joey's step-daughter, and they became instant BFFs. The guys also instantly bonded. We Moms bonded over our girls and husbands. It was just an incredible evening. While the guys were going to be busy filming and traveling all over, their women were going to be hanging out. So the girl posse was (Joey's family) April(wife) and Alyssa & Ashland, Sophia and I. It was so nice to have someone to hang with. We went to the Zoo on Saturday and talked about heading over to Bike Week but the guys were determined that their daughters were not to be brought to Bike Week...too many biker babes not wearing enough clothing and too many bikers guys looking scary. They had spent the morning there and gotten an eye full. This would be some of the reason why the biker community is not tapped into like it should be for fundraising purposes. There were sereval local charities at work out there and most had waiting lines. Bikers look scary and the babes might be scantily clad but they have big hearts and pocket books...the Wish Riders want to tap into that for Make A Wish.
The guys were all gone from 8am to 630pm Saturday. They stopped by the hotel to grab some food and overnight gear. They were on the road to the desert by 715pm and arrived at their destination about 11pm. They had to be in place for sunrise filming at 4am. The girls headed to the Arizona Science Museum Sunday and spent the day doing hands on experiments. Everyone got back to the hotel around 530pm. Edgar, Paul and Joey were all sun burned and exhausted. The whole Wish Rider gang went out for dinner that night. It was the first time they had all gotten to sit still in two days but it was well worth it. An amazing few days for everyone involved.
Everyone flew home on Monday afternoon. Paul to Michigan. Joey and family to Texas and us to California. As I said I will post more about the whole weekend and Edgar's Wish Rider experience in a later post. After a full day of work I just want to get Pia ready for bed and fall into it myself.
Much Love,
Roni
P.S. Sophia is heading to camp next weekend. She got in!!!! She is so excited about going.
We met Edgar's brothers of another mother this weekend and it was a truly amazing experience for them all. Joey, survivor of childhood leukemia and Wish Kid. Paul, father to Maddie who passed away from bone cancer. I will go more into their stories later...part of the crying experience.
We arrived in Phoenix on Friday at 1130am. When we arrived at the hotel we had an invitation to a welcome reception at 6pm so since we had time we headed off to the Arizona Bike Week site and met up with the Central Valley Make A Wish crew...Tony, Lori, Shelly and Diana. Miss Sophia got her cute on and once we convinced her to talk louder she sold 5 raffle tickets. I was so proud of her!!! She has to get past that 5 minutes of shyness with anyone new and to have to approach a whole bunch of new people...go Pia. I must say that she melted several hearts even if she didn't sell them a ticket. Pia would jump in front of people and Shelly would reel them in. We took off at about 5pm...at that time there were close to 1000 bikes in the parking lot with more arriving every moment.
The reception was a get to know you session and a briefing of what generally was going to happen for filming over the weekend. It was a crying and bonding session. Sophia met Alyssa, Joey's step-daughter, and they became instant BFFs. The guys also instantly bonded. We Moms bonded over our girls and husbands. It was just an incredible evening. While the guys were going to be busy filming and traveling all over, their women were going to be hanging out. So the girl posse was (Joey's family) April(wife) and Alyssa & Ashland, Sophia and I. It was so nice to have someone to hang with. We went to the Zoo on Saturday and talked about heading over to Bike Week but the guys were determined that their daughters were not to be brought to Bike Week...too many biker babes not wearing enough clothing and too many bikers guys looking scary. They had spent the morning there and gotten an eye full. This would be some of the reason why the biker community is not tapped into like it should be for fundraising purposes. There were sereval local charities at work out there and most had waiting lines. Bikers look scary and the babes might be scantily clad but they have big hearts and pocket books...the Wish Riders want to tap into that for Make A Wish.
The guys were all gone from 8am to 630pm Saturday. They stopped by the hotel to grab some food and overnight gear. They were on the road to the desert by 715pm and arrived at their destination about 11pm. They had to be in place for sunrise filming at 4am. The girls headed to the Arizona Science Museum Sunday and spent the day doing hands on experiments. Everyone got back to the hotel around 530pm. Edgar, Paul and Joey were all sun burned and exhausted. The whole Wish Rider gang went out for dinner that night. It was the first time they had all gotten to sit still in two days but it was well worth it. An amazing few days for everyone involved.
Everyone flew home on Monday afternoon. Paul to Michigan. Joey and family to Texas and us to California. As I said I will post more about the whole weekend and Edgar's Wish Rider experience in a later post. After a full day of work I just want to get Pia ready for bed and fall into it myself.
Much Love,
Roni
P.S. Sophia is heading to camp next weekend. She got in!!!! She is so excited about going.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
The Birthday Girl
Princess Pia is now 6! Wow, that year went by much too quickly. Yes, I know they are only going to get faster and while I can’t wait to see how much she will grow and mature this upcoming year, I don’t know if my heart will be able to stand it. She has matured so much this last year. This year you could truly see all the life’s lessons of the past two years come to light in her big brown eyes. While, at times, she can show all the impatience of a child she has the ability to process and understand information that most adults have problems with. It was 2 years ago on her birthday that Edgar, Natalia & I headed to UCSF for the first time to get a second opinion. We left her birthday party at my parents early to go…and left Pia with them. She was left with them several times while we went back and forth in the early days. She hates being left behind now for any reason. Sophia, at four, was already learning that she was not the center of the universe. That there are times in life where others MUST be placed before yourself. She learned how to be adaptable and make the best out of most situations. She learned that even in times of crisis you can still have fun. It is ALL in your attitude. I am not saying she didn’t have some melt downs while learning these things, heck, even Mama had meltdowns while learning them, but she developed her own sense of grace and dignity that shines through. She can handle any curve or bump in the road with a smile and a “let’s do it” attitude. She has inherited Natalia’s trait of sharing. Natalia must have passed this one on because Sophia wasn’t very good at it (unless you were her sister) before Natalia got sick.
She is as simple and complex as girl can be…she is Sophia Isabel Valle (Pia to her Family) and she ROCKS!!!
Much Love,
Roni
She is as simple and complex as girl can be…she is Sophia Isabel Valle (Pia to her Family) and she ROCKS!!!
Much Love,
Roni
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