Tapestry Part 2

Well, it may have taken me a while but I finally got back to this post. I want you all to really look at the picture posted above...it is a wonderful picture of the girls when Pia was about 5 months old and Talia was 2 years old. My mother-in-law cross-stitched this picture from a photo that they had. I want you to look at all the details and see how close to life like it looks. Then I want you to think about the back of this work of art...any of you who have tried your hand making cross-stitch before know that the back of this looks like a jumbled mass of threads and knots. You can not make rhyme nor reason of it. It definitely does not resemble the finished product. That is what our lives are. God sees the finished product while we all we see are the threads and knots. My point, you ask, is simple...those threads and knots are what join our lives together. Some threads only cross each other once, others multiple times. Many are knotted together to form strong bonds. We may not see the reason for all of this but God does and the chaos that our lives can seem at times make sense. We impact so many people without realizing that we are doing just that. Cause and effect...all part of one miraculous life.

Another thread...the other pictures are from Relay For Life. Natalia's class help to decorate luminaries for the track. Each of these lights represents someone with cancer. You can choose to feel crushed by all these lights or renewed. To fall back into the abyss of sorrow or find your purpose and strength in knowing that there are others out there who need your help. We are all brought together by God to lend our help to each other, whether by helping financially of by just giving someone a hug.

Have you hugged someone today?

Much Love,
Roni

Busy

When did I get so busy…I had to laugh when I thought about this yesterday.

Work has been awesomely busy. The last thing you want at a large complex is for the office to be slow. We have been doing a lot of leasing and with biannual inspections this week & next there will be a lot of paperwork to do. Our owners visited last week and told us the complex looked wonderful…Note: when the owners tell you that the complex looks wonderful, you know you’ve done your job well and that the team is doing a great job. Hey, if anyone knows someone who needs an apartment we still have some beautiful 1 & 2 bedroom apartments.

Sophia…We ran all last week getting her to downtown rehearsals and to the performances. The little girl who knows everyone’s lines didn’t say hers on Thursday or Sunday’s shows. Thank goodness when all the family was at Saturday’s show she said them loud and proud. I think this will be her last play for a while. When kindergarten starts, so will soccer. We want her to try something that will help burn some of her boundless energy. Today, Edgar is going up to see about putting her in private swim lessons. We were not happy with her last set of lessons at an unnamed swim school. They put kids in her class that were not at her and another boy’s level just to fill the class. She was bored and didn’t learn much, in fact, she lost some skills. As for kindergarten, Edgar went down last week and spoke with the people at the Fresno Unified transfer department. He explained our situation and why it was so important that Sophia attend Weldon…we are just waiting for the letter now. Watch out Weldon, here comes Sophia Valle.

Relay for Life…wow is the only thing I can say about this. The vibe was so incredible! How did we get involved, you ask…well…Mrs. Hansen, Natalia’s 1st grade teacher, called me a few weeks ago because one of the parents wanted to know if we would be ok with the class decorating luminary for the Relay and would we like to send a picture of Natalia for the ceremony and would we possibly speak at the opening ceremony. I called Kimberly and said yes we would like to do it all. Edgar took the day off because we had so much going on…Speaking at the opening ceremony at 9am, Annie at 12:45, BBQ at friends house right after play, luminary ceremony at 7pm…what happened. Edgar got home aprox 4am, Sophia wakes up and is nauseous, I don’t speak in public about Natalia’s illness…Crud! We made a commitment and by golly we were going to keep it, so…off I went by myself. The organizers were wonderful…just say what I can say and then they would take over if I could not finish, but, I did myself proud. I got through it and even managed to sound inspirational. I tried to explain to Edgar about the vibe but it just gets lost in translation. When we went back for the luminary ceremony, he got it! Relay for Life is something we can see ourselves involved in. The sense of togetherness that everyone involves has WOW! Cancer touches so many lives and to all have one purpose and to give each other much needed support is amazing.

Much Love,
Roni

Tapestry

This one is going to be a 2 parter. Didn't get much sleep last night thought about so many things that my head was buzzing in the shower and had to write a little now before heading to work to qiet things down in there for a bit. This one is going to seem jumbled a bit as well...no sleep...tons of thoughts...no organization yet.

The pictures that you see flashing over on the left side of the screen...2 of my current favorites are there...Natalia in orange on the couch with Redd next to her...this is the last photo we took of her. It was taken on Monday March 23rd...it was the day we were told she was starting to "actively die". She could not get out of bed after this. The second is the picture of Sophia in her red vest holding her arms out to the ocean...this was taken on Thursday April 2nd...our first day in Monterey when we took Natalia's ashes to be spread. Sophia kept yelling "I'm here sissy. Come play with me."

Yes, I am still working on my little book project. It tends to be more jumbled paragraphs at the moment as I get overwhelmed when I start to write some of it but it is a good experience to just get some of the thoughts off my chest...kind of like this.

Annie...May 16th and 17th 2pm at the Fresno Auditorium Theatre...had to say it again.

Rumble to the Summit for Make a Wish...June 13th...the Fresno HEAT hockey team is sponsoring a check point at Weldon Elementary in honor of Natalia...more on this later.

Dumb dog...chews everything in sight...lets Pia do what ever she wants to him and just goes with it...looks at us with those big gold eyes and massive head...gotta love him cause can't get rid of him...he's one of the family now.

more later must fix Pia breakfast...

Much Love,
Roni

Hard Week

Yes it has been. I don't know why but the tears have been so close to the surface for both Edgar and I this week. The slightest thing sets me off and the water works just keep coming. Edgar and I have been very in tune with each other over the course of our marriage. He is one of those husbands that you hear about...you know...the ones that get morning sickness with you, feel generally icky with you and feel great with you. Now we feel our grief together too.

I decided to do something positive today...I cleaned up the playroom. It has been the catch all storage room for most of the winter and since it is filled with both girls things I haven't wanted to put myself through going through all of Natalia's toys, books, blankets and just general stuff. I decided this morning that Sophia needed her place to play back. Two giant garbage bags later...OMG there is carpet under there. Amazing how many Happy Meal toys and paper and broken things seem to accumulate in six months. The good thing was many of the things were both girls...or at least they shared so much that I can no longer remember whose they were originally. But the things that were exclusively Natalia's...I could feel my heart crushing. But I got through it...then quickly put away laundry tonight...got through the playroom so putting away Pia's clothes was much easier tonight.

Tomorrow is Mother's Day...happiness to every Mom reading this. It is a double edge sword here. Sophia is...Sophia. It is hard to be sad for too long around her...but I miss Natalia so much. It overwhelms me sometimes. Then Pia does something so Pia just cause she knows I'm sad and I remember...it's okay to miss her but I can't let that take away from the life that we need to make without her physically here. I can't curl up in a ball and let the world go by. There is too much to be done...too many things that we are able to do because Natalia showed us that we can help the world one person at a time. We know what it is like to receive a card from someone we don't know saying their thoughts and prayers are with us...we know what it's like to have a sandwich with a gift card...fill our car with gas from a gift card...have a small note on 1 colorful fish multiple into the hundreds. Someone out there took a moment to help make our lives a little brighter...now it is our turn.

Much Love to you all,
Roni

May is Brain Tumor Awareness Month

Hey everyone, get your grey on. May is Brain Tumor Awareness Month. Like I need a reminder...every day is Brain Tumor Awareness day in our home. But the rest of the world does...especially for childhood tumors...kids brain cells are fertile soil for new cells and tumors spread and mutate...they are much less likely to be cured than adult brain tumors. The reality can really really suck! The problem also is no one wants to hear that it could be their child and that it hits without any major warning signs.

Another week down. I was off work last Friday with a huge cold. I slept all day long...it was Pia/Jeannine day so I was without child until 8pm. And I slept that whole time...was supposed to go to the Clovis Rodeo Parade Saturday morning(part of my "I will go out and experience the city more " campaign)...you guessed it...I slept all morning...I got up about 2pm to go for my...new tattoo...an anklet that says "Natalia Joy" on one side and "Sophia Isabel" on the other...all joined together with vines and flowers. If I do say so myself, J at Resistance did a fabulous job. I am very happy...it looks extremely feminine. Then I slept all day Sunday. Back to work on Monday.

Work has been busy of late...Thank God, both for the business and to keep my mind occupied. End of month/beginning of the month is always busy at the complex...shameless plug time...if anyone needs a 1 or 2 bedroom apartment Merit Manor on the corner of Peach and Gettysburg has something for everyone...stop on in and talk to Roni, Sam or Aubrey.

We had a busy day yesterday. Sophia had 2 birthday parties to go to. The first was an ice skating party...Pia has never been on ice...never even roller skated...I haven't been on skates in the past 10 years...but the Colorado has not left me yet. We had fun cruising the ice...when she realized I wouldn't let her get hurt. The second was at the little red park and was an old fashioned blast. The kids had so much fun playing together and got so tired that they did not even argue when it was time to go home.

Today's Sunday school lesson...times of darkness that bring great faith...needless to say I cried the whole lesson...most of the class just went with it and got tissue...poor new woman kept looking at me like I was off my rocker...I seemed so "normal" at the start of class. My Sunday school lessons...my private joke with God...they usually seem to go along with what is going on in my life at that moment and add a little more direction to that windy road. Today's lesson for me...even when things are moving at the speed of light and you don't seem to have a moment to breath...stop a second and give praise that God has his plan for you...give him that moment and peace and joy can be yours...even if it sometimes comes with tears...they can be a good thing.

I made a quiet moment this afternoon...and repotted some of the plants we received over the last month. Sophia and I planted our herb seeds...yes my patio looks like garden...makes it more peaceful when you sit out there.

ANNIE...May 16th and 17th...2pm at the Fresno Auditorium Theater...Miss Sophia Valle is an orphan with attitude...tickets are $11 at the door...come one, come all.

Much love to you all,
Roni