We Survived!

Writing has become harder. I feel like I am saying the same thing over and over and I hate that. So my entries in this blog have become further apart.

We survived the Holiday Season. Yup, I said survived! I can’t think of it in any other way anymore. I held myself clenched so tightly during November and December that it took 3 bottles of red wine and sunny outside day to finally unwind me. Thank you Edgar for taking care of me that day! I felt like I was walking on egg shells that entire time. I didn’t which way my emotions were going to roll and everything hurt. Sleepless nights and endless days. The bright spot, as always, was Sophia. No matter how much you just want to ignore the holidays you need to do more than just go through the motions when you have a little one. Sophia loves life so much and joy just beams from her that you get caught up in it as well. You put on your happy face and remember to live in the moment.

Monday is Natalia’s 9th birthday. I am imagine she is going to have one heck of a party in Heaven…it just sucks that this is our second without her. We are heading to Monterey on Sunday for a few days. We are going to spend time on her beach. We plan to fly kites, blow bubbles, visit the Aquarium, throw rose petals to the surf and play with Talia in the water. It is supposed to be beautiful there. Last year, the weather was supposed to be awful but I know Natalia had a hand in making it beautiful for us…the rain moved in just as we were leaving.

We stay at The Beach Resort Best Western. It is right on the beach as you head into town. We have an ocean view room so we can watch and listen to the water. This is the last place we took Natalia before she became home bound, so, it has special memories for us. I love looking out at the water and knowing she is free. It helps bring peace after spending the holidays and birthday without her. We feel more connected to her when we visit the beach. Sophia, of course, cannot wait and has been counting down the days. She runs straight for the water, holds up her arms, and yells for sissy to come play.

Much Love,
Roni