3rd Angelversary

March 26th is fast approaching. Natalia’s 3rd Angelversary. Part of me can barely believe it has been three years since she gained her wings. The other part of me feels every moment she’s been gone like strike to my heart.

Like the rest of the hard dates (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Talia’s birthday) this past year, we have been extremely busy leading up to it. It has been the trend this year. My work has been throwing new curves every day. Not in a bad way but definitely the shake things up way. That in its self would have been enough to keep me on my toes. Edgar has been busy working on new projects with work. Sophia has been going a mile a minute with school, gymnastics and friends. AND we are all planning our first long vacation. We have always just taken off for 1 or 2 days here and there.

I see the faces of Natalia’s friends, who are all turning 10, and wonder what changes would have taken place in her face. I wonder what subject would have been her favorite and what activities she would be involved in. She is still on the library 1st grade student list (Thank you Lisa!) which is perfect because she loved reading. I see siblings arguing with each other and can still hear Natalia calling Sophia “punk” and then knocking her off the top bunk. Which she claimed was an accident…but as I had just walked in the bedroom to see Pia go flying, I have my doubts. :)

We have always done something on Natalia’s Angelversary. On the first we went to Monterey to play in the waves with her. The second Angelversary, we went to San Francisco to visit all the spots we had spent so much time at while she was sick. This year we will be spending it doing the things she loved here in Fresno. She was always so excited to come home to Fresno. We will ALL be getting pedicures, going to the zoo (I have not been to the Fresno zoo since Natalia got sick) and having dinner at Famous Dave BBQ. I can hear her little “ooo yay” every time I think about our plans.

This is the year of our first big vacation without Natalia. We are off to Disneyland. It is not really without her because I feel her in so much of what we are planning. The girls have never been to Disneyland. We were waiting for Sophia to be tall enough to ride all of the rides. God forbid Natalia would get to ride something that Sophia couldn’t. Those of you who know Pia, understand just what kind of vacation nightmare that would have turned out to be. God love my stubborn, no fear, full throttle youngest child. We have gotten a lot of fabulous advice and tips from our friends…Huge thanks go out to Tammy for insider clues, Debra for the map and first time visitor pointers, Miriam for the Ariel’s Groto tip and everyone else who helped us to make plans. Sophia has had a blast checking everything online and deciding what all absolutely MUST be done and seen.

This trip will also be a test. Sophia has not done well tolerating time away from home. Home is safe to her. There is no life changing drama at home. Most of her early life travel was between home and taking Natalia to the hospital at UCSF. Long hospital stays, hurting sister and stressed out parents left a lasting impression on Sophia. By the end of day 2 away from home she becomes anxious to the point of constant tears and all she talks about is how much she misses home. We will be taking pictures of Natalia and the dogs with us to put around the room to make it more home like for Sophia. We’ll see how she does.

Much Love,
Roni