I have spent the better part of my quiet moments the past few days crying. It sucks! Too say the least. It's not just me, Edgar is in on it as well. Going back to San Francisco is harder then either of us realized it would be...oh and Father's Day just happened in there as well. We miss her giggles and belly laughs...her ooo yeas. I made the decision that it is time to pack away some of her clothes...well I bought a large plastic box to put them in anyway. Edgar says it is too soon. I told him that he doesn't put Sophia's clothes away and have to see that I don't have any of Natalia's clothes to put away. It hurts every time I go to their closet and see her favorite pieces, picture her wearing them and then not have her to hold.
We are heading out tomorrow morning. A stop in Patterson for chicken fries...a must on their bi-weekly trip. We are going to park the car and walk to old haunts, visit familiar faces and close the circle. Another must...a chocolate twist donut from Donut World.
Memories keep crashing in and alternate between being crushing in intensity and warming in their love. Sophia just hands me a tissue, hugs me and tells me I can cry on her shoulder. Wow, welcome back to the here and now. Sophia is beyond amazing. We are changing her pre-school. They have done, yet another, staff/curriculum change. This time we are not rolling with the punches. Always before there was someone left who the girls adored and we felt they were in good hands...not the case anymore. There is no one left, teachers or kids, that we know. Pia actually says she hates one of her teachers and we do not care for the director...great as a teacher(Sophia has learned a lot) but not a very good administrator. So today we checked out a few and will take Pia to see them when we get back.
I guess that's it for now.
Much love,
Roni
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2 comments:
Hi Roni,
I almost posted a comment to your last post but didn't have words....I really, really can imagine how hard it was for you to meet us and Isaac. I tend to be the opposite - I clam up and don't say anything. It was out of character for me to come back to you and say goodbye when we were leaving but I wanted you to know that I was there for you, even going through our own mess. I tend to be at a loss for words in emotional situations as I don't want to make things. That isn't always good though. Words do need to be spoken. It was really nice to meet you and Edgar and Sophia is just darling.
I hope you have a good time in San Francisco. I will be praying that it is a healing experience.
Karen
www.caringbridge.org/visit/isaachatfield
Roni...
I so understand what your talking about with the daycare. I had to finally pull Malia out last month. She has been at her new daycare going on three weeks now. Its been so hard for her...she misses her old friends a lot. She mentions a few by name and Sophia is one! She is often points to the class photo we have when Teacher Gloria and Director Dani were there and tells me "Lets have them over to play!" I hope one day we can get the girls together...if possible. I think Malia would love that.
angela.gardea@sbcglobal.net
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