Time

This week's thought is time...when you're a child each moment is slow and each day seems like it lasts forever. As you grow older, time speeds up until it slips through your fingers like grains of sand. It is like weaving, when you first begin it is very slow going and you fumble. As time passes you become more experienced and your fingers fly. Each moment in time is a different thread and you begin to realize that life is fleeting and some threads of time will need to last you a lifetime. I think a lot in moments these days. I remember in vivid detail expressions, words, laughs and tears. There are times when I feel that is all there is. But those moments are part of a whole...a whole person...a whole lifetime. The best part of that lifetime would be left out if just moments of it are remembered. They must be put together so that the tapestry of life can be enjoyed to its fullest. God looks at the whole not the moment. He sees the good, the bad and the ugly. He understands the mixed up cluster that humans are and weaves the threads of our life together. Do not let just one moment in time ruin what could be an amazing life of experience as a whole. You may hear "it is time to move on" or "just get over it" but that does not exist. These people and moments are threaded into our entire being. They are part of our tapestry and can not be moved. They need to be enjoyed as part of our whole. The pain will never truly go away but become less focused as its thread gets dispersed throughout the entire tapestry of our lifetime.

See what a nasty cold, Sophia losing her first tooth and me thinking too much leads to. Yes, I brought home the flu from vacation....lovely present to myself. I finally gave into its nastiness on Friday and stayed home. I ached and no rest all week kind of sent me reeling by weeks end. I am sure most you have this bugger by now but, if not, watch out it is awful. When I feel sick is usually when I remember all the bad moments with Natalia...ie the bad MRI's and the final few days. No one likes seeing their child in pain, especially extreme pain that you can not make "all better". These memories, for a time, blot out all the happy memories. Just because she was sick does not mean that our time together were not happy times. We made the most of our time because we knew it was to be short. We packed as many smiles as we could into several short months because we knew would have to live off those smiles for the rest of our lives. When you are at a low point, that is when other low points all seem to gather together and make everything seem worse. My choice...put it before God and ask for help...what was his response...Sophia lost her tooth...Seeing her joy that she was growing up made me remember Natalia's joy for the same reason. It made me remember all the full of life and joy toothless grins and belly laughs of my oldest child. God helped me to remember that although it was a short life, Natalia had a wonderful life, with wonderful people who loved her. I once again can pull back from that single moment and see the whole...and it is BEAUTIFUL!

Okay, done with being deep. Sophia wants me to check out her "clean" room...ie she moved all the mess to under her bed. On a lighter note before I go, Pia played in her first soccer game yesterday. It was so awesome to see her having fun. I screamed, I cheered, I laughed my BUTT off. The 'Lil Monsters kicked serious butt. My youngest can run and is very good at taking the ball from the other team...if she learns some more ball control she will be amazing...well I already think she is amazing but that is the Mom in me. Hey...I can actually say I am a soccer mom now.

I am just getting our laptop back up and running so as soon as I am comfortable with it I will add some new pictures.

Much Love,
Roni