One of Those Days!

Yup...alone, at work, in the complete embrace of the fog. It has already been one of those schizophrenic mornings. Crying one moment, smiling the next. Probably better that my co-worker called in sick(yeah right). Sophia's kindergarten class is having their Christmas party today. At least this move has put the holiday at the back of my mind. If I start to think about it I go sideways. We do plan to buy a real tree this year as soon as we can get all the boxes out of the living room. It just hurts to think about it. As for sending out Christmas cards...not this year...to hard to sign them. Having to sign all of our names over and over...So here it is "Merry Christmas and Happy New to you all!!!!"

Well everything is at the new house. Now we get to put it all away...actually discover things we forgot we had. Let's hear it for Lowes...Home Depot mucked us around for over two weeks before they said they could not do all of our blinds...Lowes not only told us they could do all the windows but the blinds were delivered to our house YESTERDAY...six days after ordering. Now we are just waiting for them to be installed. Then we need to figure where all our pictures are going to go. We had talked about doing a housewarming/Christmas party. Ha! It took us 3 days to find our cutting board. So the housewarming will probably be after the New Year.

We've decided that I am going to take a bit of time off after my last day of work...tomorrow. It will not only be good for my mental health but Pia needs some Momma time. I will get the house completely (at least for the moment) the way I want it. I think that is why I feel relaxed coming to the end of my job. I have spent the past 7 years here and while I seriously dislike the reason I have to leave...I am going on my terms and can take the time to find something I want to do for the next chapter of my life. Life is over too quickly to let the things you can not control take over. Take the hit, then breathe deep and do what is best for you and yours. Make decisions with as clear a head as possible. Breathe Deep and do not be afraid to ask for help when you need it. So when I am ready to work again...I will be asking!

This blog has seriously helped me to keep my sanity over the past year and half. To know that while I do not know if people keep reading it, someone who needs it will stumble across it while searching the web for any kind of comfort during the cancer storm. I stumbled across another mother's blog this time last year. Her child had the same type of brain cancer that Natalia did. He also lost his battle. Her written words of the highs and lows of life helped me in ways I can not express. Her pain was to great to keep writing but Shannon if you read this know how much you helped me through. To know that you are not alone in your feelings. To know that what you are feeling is not wrong. To know that the is no problem out there that has not been faced time and again but that how you deal with those problems is what make each of us different. These blogs/journals help us all to look at life just a little bit differently.

Much Love,
Roni