Natalia's Birthday

Monterey was incredible! We found some peace again. Thank you God and Natalia for providing awesome weather.

We discovered Olalieberry pie at Casa de Fruita on our way…OMG you all need to try this stuff. It is a hybrid berry and is incredible warmed up with ice cream. If you have never stopped at Casa de Fruita, please give it a try. It is the perfect rest stop on Hwy 152 between Los Banos and Gilroy. They have restaurants, shops, playground, merry go round, train and other fun things for the family to do. Edgar and Sophia rode the merry go round before we hit the final leg of our journey. I almost had major freak out moment when two little girls with the same haircuts as Pia & Talia at the same age (approx 2/3) stood in line for their turn on the merry go round. Sucked that one up quick…because Sophia is the balance in all this and with her laughing and dancing on the back of the horse I could hear her sister laughing at her as well.

The weather was perfect…well…not for kite flying…no wind at all. We all played in the played in the surf Saturday and ended up soaking wet. While the water wasn’t warm it wasn’t freezing either. We 3 had a blast chasing the waves in and out. Our room faced the ocean so we could really hear the surf and just looking out at the Bay helped sooth our souls. We walked around Cannery Row and Fisherman’s Wharf that night before having an awesome seafood dinner. Yes, these areas are tourist traps, but they are fun and we have always enjoyed them.

Sunday…Natalia’s birthday…the morning was hard, really hard. I couldn’t make up my mind about anything and I couldn’t stop crying. I missed her so bad it felt like my soul was being torn apart again. Like losing her all over again. I kept seeing birthdays past...OMG labor and delivery. I felt like I was going out of my mind and nothing seemed to be helping. I think Edgar and I were torn between popping each other and grabbing on and holding tight. Finally we went upstairs to the hotel restaurant and had a wonderful breakfast. Calm came over me and so did the plan for our day. We started off at the Aquarium…the new sea horse exhibit is amazing. We spent a lot of time at the Open Sea tank. For those of you who have never been to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, the Open Sea tank is incredible. Six foot long tuna swim with sharks, sting rays, sea turtles, sun fish, schools of mackerel and barracudas. All while you stand in front of this immense wall of water and new age music plays in the back round. You will never think of a can of tuna the same way again. We walked around Cannery Row again and Pia had her face painted. Then off to Pino’s for gelato…one of our favorite places. It is on the promenade just up from Fisherman’s Wharf. Did I mention the weather was incredible? Then back to the hotel so we could play on the beach. My Mom brought rose petals to throw into the ocean for Natalia. This time I put Pia in her swim suit and off into to ocean we went. We threw the petals into the surf while we all played in the waves. Edgar tried valiantly to fly the kite but there was no breeze at all, just beautiful sunshine. Have I mentioned that it was SUPPOSED to be in the high 40’s with 80% chance of showers? We wanted to have dinner at the Fishman’s Wife in Seaside but it was closed, funny thing is that we passed Natalia’s favorite Chinese restaurant on the way…Edgar and I grinned at each, yes Natalia would prefer Chinese for her birthday dinner. The Happy Dragon has great, inexpensive food. The highlight of the trip that still has me chuckling…picture my husband who can bench press 385lbs, has biceps the size of my thighs(and I am not a small woman) and is a physically imposing man. Our waitress (might weigh 105lbs soaking wet) begins to remove the plates from our table, looks at Edgar’s plate and tells him, in a stern voice, to finish his broccoli before she will take his plate…and he did. We were all cracking up about it. It was a wonderful day! Just what Natalia ordered up for her family. Because you know what, Natalia would have told him to finish the broccoli too.

It is still hard. I dream with almost perfect clarity days gone by with Natalia and then wake to find her not there and can’t get back to sleep. I keep trying to finish putting together our front bedroom where we just put all the “what I am going to do with this” boxes. Well in most of them are memories. With Sophia most, if not all, of her pictures are on computer. With Natalia, all of her pictures until she was 2 are all hard copy. So with every box are pictures of my beautiful, laughing baby girl followed close by Mama having an emotional meltdown. But I found a picture yesterday that just calmed me in the middle of the storm. I don’t even know what about the picture stopped the meltdown. Natalia was about 1 ½ old in a blue sweater showing off her top and bottom teeth with that sparkle in her eyes. I just wished I had found it before the major headache that comes with the crying jags hit but…The picture just seemed to say to me “what are you doing Mama?” I woke up this morning feeling much better.

One day at a time…each moment a miracle.

Much Love,
Roni