Some Anniversaries Suck

March 26th is looming in the air. Friday will be the one year anniversary of losing Natalia. Thank you God that this one is SO FAR not hitting as bad as her birthday. Maybe it is because we had those weeks leading up to her death to resolve ourselves to it. Losing her hurt beyond belief but we were at peace about letting her go. It is much easier to face her death then it is her birth. I was prepared by fire for her death. I had eleven months to come to terms with the fact that my oldest baby was not meant for this Earth. She was meant to be with God and was just completing what she had been sent to this Earth to do. I still cry about it. I still have to take that moment and Breath Deep when I pull out some of her clothes out of the "next in line" (sounds better then hand me down) box. Right now that is what crushes me the most. Natalia was 5 when she wore these clothes and I can see her in them as plain as day when I hold them up. Memories come crashing down around me and Sophia finds me in her closet balling me eyes out. The good thing is that Pia knows that it is happy memories that are making me cry. Pia calls these clothes her "PUNK" clothes because Natalia always called her punk. The "PUNK" clothes make her happy because it shows her how much she has grown. That she is getting bigger bigger like sissy. The minute Sophia puts one of the pieces on it becomes hers. She just wears them so differently then Natalia did and it adds yet another happy memory to help ease the bad ones.

Puppy update...we've had Coco for 2 weeks now...she is already as tall as Redd and is sooooo Edgar's dog. When I say bed time Redd shots straight up to his bed...not Coco. She won't go to bed until Edgar does. She'll even come downstairs when he gets home at night for cuddle time. Redd just looks down the stairs to be sure it's him then goes right back to his bed. Our biggest problem right now...Edgar dug up the area for our patio yesterday...I'm sure you can guess the dogs favorite place to play. What was I doing when he was digging? I was shampooing our carpets!!!!! Needless to say there is a towel by the back door and BOTH dogs get wiped down from head to toe. Redd is also teaching Coco the art of home protection at which he exceeds. His bark is deep and mean sounding...she sounds like a squeek toy with serious game. His growl is vicious and frightening to behold...she sounds like a squeek toy, with teeth that can do serious damage poking out. I give her another month before she is taller then him but he will still have her beat in length and muscle. The great thing with the size of our yard is that Redd has become majorly fit and now, so will Coco.

Much Love,
Roni