Today was interesting...I say this because we had some very high highs and some low lows. To start off a bit about the weekend...Sophia's play was a huge success. Natalia was unable to go to performance because she was just to tired and it would have been to loud for her. So Edgar and I did split shift on Saturday. I went with family to the early show then raced home to switch places so Edgar and Anthony could go to the afternoon show. Once Edgar saw the performance all the driving clear across town at bad hours for us made it all worth it. She was incredible and the fun she had performing was to beautiful for words. Ok...last show on Sunday she was the comedic relief...picture this...Ompa's finish their scene and head off stage left...all is quiet...Pia jumps out from the curtains, strikes a pose and says "goodnight everyone". OMG!!!! She brought the house down. The kids all had a great time and the show made everyone smile.
Now for the day...this morning we met one of Natalia's hospice nurses. She was very nice. Then an hour later we met our social worker Mary Kay...bared our souls(she's that kind of person, helpful in her line of work)...cried a lot...had a smiley face cookie bouquet delivered to us...laughed a lot...Mrs Hansen stopped by to read a book for lesson...Edgar made awesome dinner...had a spontaneous party when lots of friends stopped by to see Natalia...met with some of said friends to discuss what comes next...cried a lot...reminded them that they are family and are part of us...can't get rid of us now...Edgar went to gym to get huge muscles so can join the 400lbs club at work...ate some home made brownies(did I mention spontaneous friends came bearing gifts of brownies cookies and flowers)...put girls to bed...sat down to computer to tell everyone that they make a difference in our lives. We love you all!
Life is a celebration. Yes, there are some major downers along the path but if you never travel that path, if you just sit at home and do nothing all the time, you will never experience all the joy the life has to offer. How can you know true joy if you never experience true pain? Natalia brings both to me. I am sick to my soul that I am losing her but I have the joy of having spent this time on Earth with her and know that she is going to be with the Lord and will be waiting for me. I know that as long as I never lose her memory she will always be with me whispering in my heart. Celebrate the wonderful girl that touched so many people, that caused many a parent to just go home and hug their children a little tighter. Someone wrote me an email saying that while they did not know the grief of losing a child they knew the pain of losing close loved ones...yes, a child is different because our children carry all our hopes and dreams of the future...but you still know the grief of loss...and believe it or not...it helps...love helps...no matter what form...to know that we are not alone in the world...I think I'm rambling...Edgar did most of the talking today(as usual, I'm the crier) so tonight I get to write...I always feel better afterward. I think I'll stop now before I really become incomprehensible.
Much Love to you all,
Roni
2 comments:
Roni~
While you don't know me, you and your family have been in my prayers. I have known Jeannine since the 7th grade, and my son Seth went there from time to time when he needed a back-up baby-sitter. I work with Kelly, Alec and Evan's mom. Natalia's health has been on my prayer list on and off for the past year. I have asked my friends at church and in our Bible study to lift up your little girl in prayer, and of course, both you and your husband. My son is six, and yes, I have been giving him more kisses when I tuck him into bed. I pray the Comforter come and surround you with the peace that passes all understanding. You, your husband, Natalia~ all of you are an amazing testimony of faith. I encourage you as you continue to walk down this difficult path. You are right in that you are not alone. God bless you all. ~Amber
Dear Edgar and Roni
I have been praying for all of you since I learned (through Tera) of sweet Natalia's illness. I am truly heartbroken with your loss, not for her sake, for she is absolutely in the best place she could ever be, and never again will suffer pain, fear or loss. But I grieve for you because I know what it is like to lose a child. Edgar will remember my Nathaniel, who died at the age of 20. It is a loss you can never truly prepare for, although you have had time to be with her and say goodbye, which is a blessing. When you have a baby, you never can imagine that you may have to let that child go. It is an unnatural thing, for a child to die before her parents. I am glad that you have such a wonderful support system and that your faith in our Lord has grown stronger. That is also what happened to me when I lost Nathaniel so suddenly. It was only the strength of God that got me through. The same will happen for you. Hold on to each other and your precious little Sophia. You all will continue to be in my daily prayers.
With love and comfort
Cindy
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