Time and the flu

My new Weldon Warrior loves her school. She loves to be a Kindergartner. She loves to be on the "big kid" side of her daycare. Actually, what do I call it now? It's not pre-school and to call it daycare sounds very baby"ish" for my big girl. She was so scared to be on that dark side but...OMG they have an air hockey table, big pool, bigger tables and REAL big kids. Pia is a very happy camper.

The first week of school. WOW! We survived...Sophia thrived!

I have spent the majority of the week fighting stomache flu. I thought it was just the sushi we had as a celebratory 1st day of school dinner. Yes, I know most of you are saying the raw fish but...when I finally ate a full meal again on Wednesday it hit me again that night. I spent Thursday at home trying to recover. Friday I was feeling a little better. I am still trying to get rid of the headache that came with losing tons of water and the still occasional cramping. I dropped Pia off at school and dropped by the office to try and learn just what is going on with the Weldon PTC this year...got some answers but will learn more on Monday...will let those of you who want to know more after that. As I was leaving campus, Natalia's kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Yager gave me an envelop with some things in it. Let me first say they were beyond amazing but they really knocked me for a loop. This week has been extremely difficult to keep sad thoughts from clouding Sophia's achievements. Natalia loved going to school so much. I loved around everytime I visit the campus and can picture her there, loving every minute of it. Maybe the pictures of Natalia running in the Jog-a-thon and an American flag with her picture on it wouldn't have sent me around the bend if I was feeling 100% healthy but I wasn't. It took until mid-afternoon before I could stop the tears from instantly coming. I mean there she was healthy, happy and RUNNING. With her giant smile on her face. I could hear her laughing, those wonderful belly laughs of hers, and it alternated between bringing great joy and great heartbreak. And I would cry with both emotions...a lot. It was almost breaking me apart. I haven't had a moment like that since just after she passed. But...a little more sleep and focus...I was better by the time I had to pick up Pia.

I think we will always have moments like this that hit like a surprise storm. They blow up fast and clear out lots of cobwebs. They can bring pain and suffering but they also can bring a new focus and wash away some of the heartache. I think we hold so much of our emotions in because we don't want to break apart...we can't afford the cost of closing ourselves off from the world even when it is what we most want to do. It would do more damage, not only to ourselves, but, to those closest to us. Take that moment and embrace it...it can help keep you sane...then move forward.

Much love,
Roni